Day 8 10 PM

Instead of talking about shadow work, I’d like to share with you a vision I have for my life.

Sometime in the near future I am living in a home big enough and comfortable enough for my little family of four. I have an office where I write and create. The sun shines through the window as I look out at our yard which has a huge ancient tree whose branches stretch out over most of our yard providing shade on sunny days and shelter on rainy days.

Our yard is lush and green with lots of secret gardens for my imaginative daughter to discover and make her own. My husband has grown a vegetable garden with a pumpkin patch that yields the most impressively round pumpkins in the fall.

Our house is full of love and warmth. We have a spacious kitchen where my husband works his magic making healthy flavorful meals that our family enjoys at our dining room table while telling each other about our days. My children are the best of friends despite their six year age difference. Everyone has a voice, and we all listen, and we all tell the most amazing stories. Laughter is the most common sound in our home.

When our friends visit, they feel instantly like family. They know us all very well and we accept each other completely no matter what mood we are in. We have cook outs in the warm months and dinners in the cold months. We entertain often and enjoy every minute of our gatherings.

Hallowe’en and Thanksgiving are huge events in our home. On Hallowe’en, my husband goes all out, turning his work shed in the backyard into a house of horrors for the kids. For the adults, I host theme parties every year that our friends look forward to with delighted anticipation. Each year I outdo myself in creativity and imagination never repeating a theme.  Thanksgivings are always filled with friends and family, laughing, talking, and enjoying each others company. My husband wows us with his signature dishes, and like my theme Halloween parties, his Thanksgiving dinners always outdo themselves and everyone looks forward to each year.

The walls of our home are covered with my husband’s photography and my daughter’s whimsical drawings spanning her early childhood years to the present. Every bookshelf is teeming with interesting and thought provoking books some of which have been written by me.

The family room and the den have three huge monitors that our connected to our home network of computers set up and run by my husband. We watch movies and listen to music on the system uniquely created by my husband. There is also a large monitor mounted in the kitchen from which my husband reads his huge collection of original recipes.

Our lives are complete. We both work at home so we are involved in our children’s lives. We are there when they wake up, and when they come home from school, and we are there when they go to bed. We have open and honest relationships with our children. They are comfortable with us and they can express a range of emotions with us knowing that they will never be abandoned no matter what emotion they express. Our children are happy and they enjoy life. We watch in awe as they self actualize.

At night when the children are asleep, over a glass of wine listening to soft music, my husband and I go over our day and talk about the next day’s plans. We sit in silence overcome at times with appreciation for what our lives have become–a far cry from the sad half-life we lived for what will seem like a life time ago. However, we are acutely aware of how necessary those dark years were and grateful for each lesson we learned.

Finishing my wine, I grab my husband’s hand and pull him to the middle of the kitchen. We dance–our bodies in perfect sync. I take in the warmth of his body close to mine and the electricity of his touch. We end our dance with a kiss. Turn off the computer, and the lights and make our way to our spacious bedroom. We make love on our huge bed, enjoying each other as we will have never been healthier or have more energy than we will at that moment. We fall asleep in each others arms excited about tomorrow and deeply grateful for all the yesterdays behind us, but completely content in the moment.






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