Now that I have Teal’s book “Shadows Before Dawn: Finding the Light of Self-Love Through Your Darkest Times.” My posts will be about the exercises in which I engage while reading. So here’s the first one from Part 2: 365 Days of Self Love: Tool #2 Discover That You Are Deserving” Developing Deservability ( pages 85-87).
Ways in which I treat myself as if I don’t deserve love
- I put my needs last. I’d bend over backward to help meet the needs of a stranger at the expense of my own needs at times even inconveniencing myself in the process.
- I remain silent when people say things that hurt or anger me, and I turn the blame in on myself, finding fault with myself, and feeling apologetic for making that person say something hurtful or upsetting to me.
- I remain silent when I perceive that others may be offended or disapproving of my opinions.
- I constantly compare myself to others and find myself lacking.
- I neglect my health by eating badly, not exercising, and not sleeping.
- I soothe myself by procrastinating and over eating, which only hurts me in the long run.
- I often see the flaws in my physical appearance, such as having big thighs and wide hips.
- I apologize to people for no other reason than that I exist.
- I defer to others believing they are more intelligent, better read, more knowledgeable, and therefore more valuable than I.
- I rarely allow myself to be passionate because I believe that others will be scared off or put off by that side of me although it is when I am most happy and fulfilled.
How I would rather treat myself:
- I am ready and willing to put my needs first regardless of how it might appear to inconvenience or disappoint others. By putting my needs first, I can be a better daughter, sister, friend, wife, mother, colleague, and human being.
- I am ready and willing to speak up when the people I care about say or do things that upset or hurt me. By communicating honestly and openly with the people that matter to me, I can become closer to them and they can see all sides of who I am, and our relationship can grow and strengthen.
- I am ready and willing to express my opinion in every situation in which it is appropriate to do so regardless of how people may perceive it. My opinion is just as valid and as important as those with whom I am conversing, and by remaining silent I do both the people around me and myself a disservice.
- I am ready and willing to accept myself worts and all. I will embrace every thing that makes me who I am, and use my negative emotions to explore my inner core beliefs so that I can reach my full potential.
- I am ready and willing to take care of my body. I will exercise at least three times a week, eat healthy nourishing food, and only take sugar in moderation. By doing this, I can better enjoy my life and do the things I want to do like dancing, sky diving, scuba diving, going to the beach, wearing fashionable and flattering clothing, and living a long and healthy life.
- I am ready and willing to find healthful and empowering ways to soothe myself, such as visualizations, purchasing beautiful clothing items, and dancing every second I get a chance even if it is in the streets.
- I am ready and willing to see myself as a dynamic and vibrant being with many facets. I am ready and willing to accept every part of myself, and love the round softness of my thighs, and the cushioning feel of my hips, and how having a little more heft to my body gives me curves in all the right places, and makes dancing all the more enjoyable.
- I am ready and willing to stop apologizing for who I am, and rejoice and appreciate the woman I have become and the woman I am now.
- I am ready and willing to see myself as equal in worth to all my fellow beings who inhabit the Earth. I am no better or no worse than any one, and everyone has something to contribute to this life. I am ready and willing to contribute fully to this life from now and forever more.
- I am ready and willing to be passionate every chance I get for it is through the expression of my passion that my soul shines through and others see the brilliance that is me and perhaps the brilliance that is them. I am ready and willing to be myself; authentically, completely and without apology because I am worth it.
That was so empowering. I encourage all of you who find yourself treating yourself as if you are not deserving of love to try this simple exercise. The very act of writing down all the ways in which I tell myself that I am not deserving of love and then turning it around by making a commitment to myself to do the opposite has me feeling like I can be and do anything I want. Now I just have to live up to these promises every day from now on. I cannot wait to start living. I highly recommend this.
May you find your brilliance and let it shine so that the world will be a shimmering place.