A letter of apology to myself (inspired by “Tool #8 Releasing Yourself From Guilt” pages 133-140
To you, oh my soul, I apologize. I apologize for holding you back, telling you that you cannot, and denying your worth. I apologize for abandoning you in the face of fear; fear of rejection, fear of failure, and fear of success. For every time I put you last, neglected your needs, or pushed you aside, I sincerely apologize. I’m sorry for telling you time after time that you are not worthy of love, acceptance, and happiness. I’m sorry for laughing at your dreams and scornfully telling you that such things are not for you, beyond your reach, and not worth striving for. I am sorry for trying to snuff out your light and telling you that to allow your brilliance to shine would be shameful, arrogant, and wrong. For every time I told you, “Who are you to believe in your greatness?” I apologize.
There was a time when I knew beyond doubt that we were meant for brilliant things. There was a time when our power to create a life worth living was as easy as taking a breath or thinking a thought. I apologize for what forgetting that has done to my confidence and my sense of value. I am capable of wonderful things. I remember now.
From now on, I am willing to do whatever it takes to reintegrate all of the parts of myself that make me whole. I am ready and willing to accept where I am now and allow greatness into my life today and every day. I am ready and willing to meet all of my needs for I know that I am capable of doing so. I am ready and willing to embrace my brilliance and share it with the world because I know that is the best way to live and thereby the best way to help restore the world to its brilliance.
I promise you that I will always be there, and that in the face of fear, I will be brave. I will stand in my truth without apology. I promise you that I will always see you and hear you. I will always check in with my feelings for I know that is your language, oh my soul. I will listen to you and heed your council for I know you know what’s best for us.
No longer will I walk ahead leaving you in the shadows. No longer will I fear the shadows where you dwell. Stepping into the shadows, embracing you, believing in you, knowing all that you are and appreciating what that means, I will bring forth the shimmering radiance that is you and that is me.
Today and every day I commit to you. Today and every day I embrace you. Today and every day I remain open to the greatness that you are and the changes that that greatness will bring into my life. For you are me and I am you and it will always be us, today and every day, oh my soul.
I was feeling a little sad today, and felt that I needed to address those parts of myself that are still hurting from the years of self-abuse and self-neglect, so I was inspired to write this letter to myself after reading the chapter on guilt in “Shadows Before Dawn: Finding the Light of Self-Love Through Your Darkest Times.”
My hope for you as that you too will find peace within yourself and that you will be able to release the brilliance that is you and share it with the world. For it is through our brilliance that the world will be restored to the shimmering place of love and light and infinite possibilities so many of us have forgotten.