Day 29 11:45PM

Today I was reminded of what I don’t want. I love my job, but I don’t like expending so much of my energy towards someone else’s vision. I don’t want to live in someone else’s concrete box unable to make any changes like knocking down a wall, or adding another wing to the place. I don’t want to commute on the train during rush hour where you are forced into the train practically belly button to belly button to complete strangers. So then what do I want?

I want to spend my days dedicating my time and energy to my vision, and my passion. I want to live in a home that is full of things that I love and that make me happy. I want my little slice of heaven. A place with a big yard where my children can play and explore all the natural wonders you can find in a backyard, like worms, ants, bees, butterflies, grass, flowers, and trees. So what am I doing to get what I want?

I’m working on changing my core beliefs and I am working on taking that next step in my career. I’m casting my net wide sewing seeds in many fields hoping they will take root in at least one. I’m learning every day what I want and what I don’t want, and I am taking baby steps in the direction of my joy.

On days like today when I fall back on old habits, like putting the things I have to get done above the things I want to get done, it seems like I still have such a long way to go. I try to remind myself its not so much the destination as it is the journey on which I should be focused. Well, in this particular part of the journey, I’m learning a lot about what I don’t want, and it’s helping me clarify my vision and strengthen my resolve to keep on moving.



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