Day 118

Letting go: Acceptance and My Perception of the State of the World

The world seems to be changing and not in a good way. I am afraid that our freedom of speech is being threatened by progressives, and those of us who value freedom of speech in its pure form are losing the fight. At the same time, race relations in the U.S. are terrible, and the recent police shootings in Baton Rouge and Minnesota as well as the retaliatory shootings targeting police in Dallas, Baton Rouge, and Kansas City have brought that to the fore. So for the past couple weeks, I have been struggling with my feelings about identity politics and the best way to address what is happening in my home country. I am worried about how things are going in the States, but I am not sure how I can stop this change from happening. I’m not even sure it is a bad thing. Certainly, I feel like it is a bad thing when our freedoms are taken or given away, but this is because I was raised in the United States where individual rights and freedoms were highly valued. However I am aware of the fact that there are other places in the world where individuality is not important. I’ve been living in such a place for over a decade, and life isn’t so bad here. So, I have been thinking deeply about my perception of the world, and I have been doing so through the lens of acceptance.

I have accepted that freedom of speech is really important to me, and that individuality is also valuable to me. I want my children to grow up and live in a world where they can self actualize, and where they can express themselves without the threat of being criminalized for having an unpopular opinion. I accept that issues regarding race and identity politics upset me, and that I would prefer a world where race was not such a determining factor in certain people’s identity. I also accept that race is a determining factor in the identity of most people of color in the U.S. I accept that our concept of freedom of speech is changing, and I accept that my idea of what is right or better may be wrong. I accept that my ideas are unpopular and that they would be met with resistance if and when I shared them with other people, especially those that share my ethnicity.

The majority of my family members would be shocked and dismayed to hear what I have to say about Black Lives Matter and the recent police shootings and the subsequent retaliatory shootings targeting police. Accepting these things has led me to face the situation with my eyes wide open, and I have decided that I am not going to broach the subject with my family members and those who are not open to alternative perspectives on the issues. I have decided to focus on my mission and my vision for my life, which is to bring compassion and unconditional love to all who cross my path and in all aspects of my life.

As such, I have decided that my path is not one of the political activist although I feel strongly about politics. I have accepted that I am emotionally involved in identity politics which makes it hard for me to remain reasonable or rational about issues surrounding that particular topic, so I am not going to spend too much of my time and energy on it. Instead, I am going to dedicate my time and energy to finding a way to influence the world in a way that is uplifting and enriching for me.

This has not been easy for me as I feel a certain sense of defeat when I think about my decision not to talk about certain topics with my family and those who clearly are not open to alternative perspectives. However, it seems reasonable to stay away from topics that will only upset me and the people involved, especially if those people are not interested in my opinion or respectful of it. Although I feel like I should stand for what I believe in and tell my story to as many people that will listen, I know that the best thing for me to do is to focus on self-actualizing and making my vision a reality. For now that is what is important to me. It is how I can make the most impact.

The world is changing. I am changing. Whether it is good or bad remains to be seen, and is not that important. What I am going to do with my life and how I am going to contribute to the world is more important to me now, so I will live my life accordingly. I have found peace in letting go.


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