Day 358

Still Moving Forward

Ten days have come and gone. The good news is I’m moving forward. I’m plugging away on my coaching training and I am starting to reach out to others and build a network. I am getting used to the idea of being an entrepreneur. Although the idea of starting a coaching practice is exciting, it is also quite frightening. Nevertheless, I am doing my best to keep moving toward the target while appreciating the journey and the process. This of course is not always easy, but I’m learning a lot on the way.

I had my first hands-on experience as a coach today. It was a ten minute session done in a classroom-like setting with a mentor to offer feedback, and I learned so much about myself and about coaching. First, although I was certain I would not fall in the trap of imposing my views on the client, I did just that. This taught me that this coaching thing is not as easy as I thought it would be. Although I feel well suited to coaching, the instant that I lost the emotional connection with the client in  my rush to judgment and desire to “help” the client, I realized that coaching is an art and one that must be mastered with much care and a lot of practice.

I also learned that I still need to practice looking at things through a positive lens. Although I did my best to see the benefits of the experience, I latched on to the disappointments and rough parts of the experience. These unintended and unwelcome results became significant, and they weighed heavily on my heart and mind. I felt that I had offended the “client”, so on our learner forum, I contacted her to apologize. Her response was my most cherished lesson of the entire experience.

First, she came at the situation with a positive outlook. She told me she came away from the experience with new insights. I was then reminded that focusing on the positive aspects of a situation is more uplifting and helpful than focusing on the negatives, and the regrets. She was kind and we had a great exchange, and I was happy that I contacted her. After the exchange, I learned that it is important for me to focus on the learning process, to be forgiving of myself, and that reaching out to my fellow trainees although scary can result in a fulfilling and enriching experience.

Now I am hungry for more opportunities to practice my craft. I wonder what learning opportunities will arise then.

Until next time.


Day 84


Hiccups-they aren’t huge problems, just annoyances that no matter what you do don’t seem to go away. The nature of the events I have experienced recently can be summed up in one word-hiccups. Last Tuesday, my husband and I missed our couple’s therapy because the therapist mistook the date of our appointment, on Thursday, I missed my Zumba class because my husband got home late, and yesterday, I left my purse in my husband’s car leaving me with no access to money, my keys, and my phone all day. This wouldn’t have been a problem except, my daughter had a play date, tutoring, and a birthday party to go to that day. I’ve had a string of unfortunate happenings, and I can’t help wondering about the origin of these little hiccups.

I believe that things happen for a reason and its not all just random and chaotic. So upon reflection, I am compelled to place some meaning on the events in question. Take my therapy session. The fact that we did not have the session is not something we had control over; our counselor mistook the date. However, when I went back and looked at the email in which I confirmed the date, I noticed that I got the day of the week wrong. I wonder if our counselor would have mistook the date if I had sent another email correcting the mistake, or if I had sent an email to reconfirm our appointment on Monday.

The same could be said about my missing my Zumba class. My husband decided to go to Costco, and as a result he was late coming home. I had no control over my husband’s decision to run an errand that would result in him coming home late. However, I had told him before he left the house earlier that day that he didn’t have to worry about when he came home because I would be home all day. Although this was in reference to my daughter coming home from school, I did not make that clear before he left. This was partly because I was distracted because my plans to meet my friend had fallen through because of the weather; it was raining pretty hard that day. It hadn’t occurred to me to remind my husband that I had Zumba that evening and to be sure to be back before then. I am certain that if I had remembered that I had Zumba that day and I had reminded him, I would have been able to go to my Zumba class.

Although it can be said that the therapy session and Zumba class were out of my hands, leaving my purse in my husband’s car was entirely my fault. We were running late to my daughter’s play date, so I asked my husband, who was on his way to his tutoring session, to give us a ride. Rushing out of the car, and more concerned with getting my son out of the car along with his stroller and diaper bag, I completely forgot about my purse which I had left on my seat. It was not until later that I realized that I did not have my purse, and by the time I got a hold of my husband, it was too late for him to turn around. As a result, I had to borrow money from my friend, climb onto the back porch of my apartment to gain access through our open sliding door, and go through the day without a phone. Not having my purse made the day a little difficult, but in the end, it was a great day. My daughter had a blast at the birthday party, and I met some really kind and welcoming people, including a fellow expat who seems eager to get in touch for future play dates.

All told, as with pesky hiccups that persist but don’t really pose too much of a threat to our health, these unfortunate events did not upset my life too much, but they have given me pause. I realize that each of these little hiccups were the result of not being organized. My life is a bit of a mess. Every aspect of my life has been in disarray-my apartment, my lesson planning, my social life, and my family life have all been out of alignment. In the past, I would lambaste myself for being so disorganized, but instead I have decided to learn from these little hiccups. They are an indication that things are getting out of hand, and I need to take a moment and regroup. I need to figure out what exactly what is out of wack and take steps to correct it.

I am grateful for these little upsets because they have given me the information I need to improve my life. They have also been gentle reminders rather than a serious reality check like an injury or grave illness, so I am grateful for that as well. I get the message. I have to start prioritizing my schedule and get into a routine so that things like my Zumba class are not forgotten, and so that I can be on time to appointments so that I am not always operating under stress and forgetting important things like my purse. With each solution I feel much better about my life.

Although this week wasn’t a stellar example of a well organized and balanced existence, it was an excellent learning opportunity. It was full of little lessons that have taught me that I need to be better about my family’s schedule and that we need to establish a routine. Things are falling through the cracks, and we need to start patching up those cracks and take account of those things so that they do not fall out of place. More importantly, I have learned that I have support. My friend did not hesitate to loan me money so I could get to my other appointments. I also learned that I can meet my needs in less than ideal situations. I was able to get into my apartment despite not having keys. These are things I will remember when things get really challenging. So, all told, this was a wonderful week, and I anticipate an even better one now that I am taking steps to make my life more balanced.