Final Post

Farewell!

A year later give or take; I think my math is off..

I am now on the other side of the 365-Days-of-Self-Love challenge.

When I started this blog, I had just begun to commit to live my life in a way that showed that I love, respect, and accept myself as I am. Now, I feel closer to a state of self-love and acceptance. I accept myself more often than I disapprove of aspects of myself. I am learning to just be. I am learning to look at my failures not as a source of shame, but as an indication of change and progress. I am learning to embrace imperfection, and not to take myself and life so seriously. I am learning to release judgment and accept things as they are, and not as I would like them to be.

I am happy more often than I am sad. I am more at peace than I am in turmoil. I am hopeful of my future more often than I am fearful of it.

This was a wonderful experience. I will continue to bring everything I have learned with me, and I will continue to grow and change.

Although I am finished with this blog, I will still be out there.

Very soon, you can find my words on Amazon and other places where you can find e-books. I’ll also be hosting websites, and posting on social media.

This process has taught me that what I have to contribute is of equal value to everything else that is out there and that has yet to be shared.

I will continue to walk my path, taking every twist and turn, rise and fall with grace and humility.

I hope to meet you again in another forum, on another website, in another time and place.

Until then, I wish you all the very best.

Day 345

Serendipity

Today I offered my services as a coach to a friend. We just happened to run into each other when I was about to leave the office and she had come to return something to our little library. I was happy to see her because I wanted to talk with her about our plans to do piano lessons. She’s an accomplished pianist and we had been talking about the idea of doing lessons since last September. We had just finished talking about arranging some sort of an exchange for the piano lessons when she got really quiet and the expression on her face changed. She seemed to be sad. Then she told me that she told me she had made a decision that would change her life. Listening to her, I had the sense that she was unclear on what her next step would be, so I offered my services as a coach. She responded favorably to the idea and we agreed to talk about it more the next time we met.

It was an interesting experience. I felt good about it because I trusted my instinct. I was confident, sincere, and honest about the fact that I was still learning how to be a coach, and as I spoke, I felt grounded and certain that being a coach is something I really want to do. Before this incident, I wondered if I would be embarrassed about my new profession, but now I realize that I am quite proud of it. It fits me to a T, and I am looking forward to being a full time coach some day soon.Today felt very much like I was walking my path, and it felt fantastic.

My friend may not take me up on my offer, but I’m just happy I was self-confidence enough to offer my services. It made me realize that I can do this, and I am excited about this next step in my journey.

Until next time.

Peace

Day 185

Something’s Not Quite Right

At my job, I am a member of a committee that is in charge of thoughtful gestures, such as congratulating someone on the birth of a child or saying farewell to staff and teachers who are leaving. One of the teachers in our office has been having health issues. She walks with a cane, and she’s in a lot of pain and has been missing classes or coming in late to classes. I was concerned, and asked the members of the committee if they felt there was anything we could do to help her. To this inquiry both replied, “Aren’t we already helping her out? People help her when they see that she needs it. What more can be done?” This is a great question. What more can be done?

I thought about it, and I realized that there really isn’t more that can be done. The teacher in question keeps to herself, chats with different teachers on occasion, but for the most part, her presence is pretty scarce. She has chosen to lay low and not be present in the office, so there really isn’t more that we can do.

So why is my inner voice telling me more can be done? I guess I feel like she is on the periphery of our community. People treat her well, but I don’t feel that we really reach out to her. I guess I’d like for us to do more than just hold the door for her, or carry her books when she goes to class. I guess I’d like us to care more about her, but to do so would be an invasion of her privacy and rather meddlesome.

So this is where I have to delve deep. Is there a part of me that needs care? Am I projecting? This is something to explore because having voiced my concern and gotten the feedback I did from my committee members, I feel a little foolish. This whole thing; my desire to spread love and compassion every where I go just seems off. It just doesn’t seem quite right.

So now what? I’m feeling really lost, and out of my element. Is this really my path? Is this really what I want to be doing? I honestly do not know.

Well, I’m definitely not giving up. This was my first attempt at following my heart. I knew it wouldn’t be easy and that there would be false starts and non-starters in the case of the teacher, and that the awkwardness is part of the journey.

Today was a bit of a disappointment. I had low energy and I just felt off. I’m not sure what that means, but I think I will just sit with it and see what this discomfort has to teach me.

Wishing you all the very best.

 

Day 184

Walking the Path

On Saturday, I watched “Tony Robbins: I’m Not Your Guru”  on Netflix. From the beginning, I was in tears. I think I cried more watching what was actually an uplifting documentary about the work Tony Robbins does than I have at any sad movie I’ve ever seen, although the Japanese animation “Grave of the Fireflies” is still the biggest tear jerker I’ve seen, but the moving and motivating “Tony Robbins: I’m Not Your Guru” had me in tears on multiple occasions.

The documentary follows Robbins and a select few of the participants in an annual six-day self-help retreat that takes place in California and costs more than most people’s monthly salary to attend–well, at least it’s more than my monthly salary! Anyway, it’s a spectacular event, with music, tears, shouts of joy and elation, and shocked expressions when Robbins uses strong and taboo language to “wake people up.”

Watching what looked like hundreds (maybe about a thousand) of people discovering their personal power and their purpose in life, made me think about my own path, and I realized, I haven’t been walking it. I’ve been meditating on it, blogging about it, talking about it, and planning around it, but I have not been walking it. What’s stopping me?

I think it’s my fear of abandonment. I don’t want people to look at me sideways when I follow my heart and do and say things that are seen as new agey psychobabble that is a little too Kumbaya for most people. I’m all about being compassionate and loving, expressing our feelings, being authentic, and connecting to others on a deeper level than shared opinions about sports, movies, or politics. However, I’m afraid if I start advocating that and start walking the path and behaving the way my heart tells me too, I will be seen as flaky and out of touch with reality. So I keep my head down and I quietly secretly go about my life without sharing my ideas with the people in my life.

Well, starting now, I’m not going to hide the fact that I care about people, and when I see people suffering, I am going to do something or say something. I won’t be good at this right off the bat, but at least I am going to swing. Even if I strike out, I’m going to get right back out at bat and adjust my stance, and form and keep swinging until I hit a home run. This is the beginning of me walking my path. I’m a little afraid, but I am more interested in seeing how this is all going to play out.

If you are walking your path, I commend you. If you are thinking about walking your path, or haven’t found your path yet, I support you. Let’s take this journey together. I imagine it will be brilliant, and even if it isn’t what we expected, it will be better than what we are doing now.